I read an article about a Virginia man who is obsessed with carnivorous pitcher plants, it was fascinating! Oh how I admire professional writers. I also admire people who get obsessed with weird things like flowers that include rats and frogs in their diets.

I went to see Dr. Thor last week so he could look at the MRI I had last November. He is delightful and has the most wonderful Norwegian accent that makes him sound even smarter than he would if he sounded like a local. He explained that this scan shows several "black holes" mostly in my right hemisphere which would account for the persistent numbness on my left side. Black holes are places where, once the myelin has been eaten away by your wacked out immune system the neurons it once coated have died and scar tissue has not filled in the space, literally leaving a black hole. Far out huh? It sounds quite ominous & cool but in my case it doesn't amount to much.
I wonder, what part of my brain has been vaporized? Was it the part that's in charge of remembering everything I'm supposed to take with me when I walk out the door? No, that part has never been fully functional. Maybe it was the part that stored memories of things I did with friends years ago and now when they tell me I have no recollection...Wouldn't it be great if the very part I lost were something I'd rather not have, like my "Math" weakness or my tendency to pull my hair out when I'm tired and my hands are idle.
It did occur to me however, that just a few short years ago upon hearing of this possibility it scared me half to death.
Before I started the Tysabri infusions I tried the other conventional injections and found them all to be intolerable. They all either made me sick every time I took them or gave me anaphylactic shock sporadically. I went in to talk to one of the doctors at Thor's office who was very kind and answered all my questions. I wondered what I might expect if I were to quit treatment all together, an option that was fast looking better and better with each allergic reaction I encountered. That was the first time I heard about black holes and it sounded awful. "But, I need all of my brain!" I thought.
It didn't really sink in for a few days and then I discovered it fairly freaked me out. I've learned that the power of the mind to protect itself is pretty amazing. Sometimes when I hear something upsetting it doesn't "land" for a while. Weird. But I suppose since I already got upset over the black hole situation years ago I'm over it now and it doesn't feel like anything remarkable, even a week later.
Or maybe when you've had something like MS for five years when you hear something scary you just think "Oh yeah, what's new?" Yes, yes my brain has holes in it but what is the weather going to be like tomorrow?
In other news I am enjoying making up a large inventory for my upcoming Etsy Shop opening! I love jewelry making so much, even the "gyppy" kind where there is no soldering involved. I do enjoy seeing what can be done with limited resources available. I've been assembling pieces mixing found objects like clock pieces and old skeleton keys with prefabed components. I always sand and oxidize the new stuff to make it blend better.
It's a challenge to come up with something that hasn't been done before but I think I can manage; that part of my brain is still intact.