Happy Halloween everybody! Now let me tell you the story of The Costume Nightmare.
It was 1981 or so, the Strawberry Shortcake gang was all the rage for little girls like me. There were dolls and a cartoon. I had a Strawberry Shortcake baby doll with a little Cupid's bow mouth, who would blow you 80s chemical strawberry breath kisses when you squeezed her tummy, I was enthralled.
I was a young student at Charlotte Country Day School, and every year they had a Halloween Parade where the little kids could wear their costumes to school and lower classes were marched in line around the entire sprawling campus, which included grades K-12. In other words, you got to show off your Halloween chops to
all the kids, even the big ones who were pretty much grown. It was all very exciting.
Here I was dressed up for a school play that same year:
I usually stuck to the classics, witch or ghost, but this year I wanted to go as Strawberry Shortcake, or at the very least, her bff Lemon Meringue girl. I reported to Mom my request, and eventually she went to Morris Costumes and brought home my store bought costume in a bag.
I guess everyone wanted to be her that year and I missed the boat, because Mom came home with...... the Strawberry Shortcake gang's nemesis....Evil Blueberry Pie Man!!!
I was
horrified! Not only did I not get to be Strawberry Shortcake or any of her cute little friends, or a witch, or a ghost....I had to be the villain! The Villain, can you imagine my horror? Blueberry Pie Man (I thin his actual name is "Purple Pie Man" or some such). What 5 or 6 year old little girl wants to dress up as a
man, let alone big mean ugly Blueberry Pie Man, constantly foiling the heroine's merry plans?
I don't remember why this simple conundrum couldn't be resolved to my liking, the short version is I wound up having to parade my Blueberry Pie Man dressed self
all over the entire campus, in front of every class, even the 12th graders! I'll never forget the big kids pointing and laughing at me, "HA-ha! Look at Purple Pie Man over there!" Private school kids are
so mean! Okay, to be fair all kids are. But that wrapped private school up for Dusti. I was done, I hated it there, and I only had to stay K-2, thank Gods!
Nevermind that it was a vastly superior education. We got to do
ceramics in art class, a dedicated room for fine art, when I was in 1st grade, or that I started learning French when I was 5, or even that I got one on one private tutoring when I was convinced I would never learn to read,
or that while I was not a stellar student, once I got to public school in 3rd grade I rocketed to the top of the class, a year ahead of my new classmates; I already knew how to write in cursive a full year before CMS students.
Those jerks laughed and pointed at my accidental Halloween costume; the only thing hiding my pain and shame, a plastic villain mask. There's only so much a little girl can take and I stood all I could stand and I couldn't stands-no-more!
So please, for your kid's sake, by God if he or she wants that good damn cartoon costume
you let 'em have it!
Priorities y'all.